"In the bin" is probably something I say at least 35 times per day. If someone's in trouble, they're "in the bin". Too turnt? Wasted? In. The. Bin. I even learned how to say it in French - Dans la poubelle - because my French friend found it hilarious.
So, I threw away my wishlist. Not my Amazon wishlist, that's mostly comprised of books, things that I need for my house or nail related products that are absolutely necessary. I mean the excel document (avec formulas because I'm a psycho) of expensive stuff that I like but really don't need, nor can I afford.
Last summer, I read Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning and, for a few weeks, I was really inspired to create the life I wanted for myself. I made moodboards, visionboards, meditated, worked out, made lists and meditated on the things that I wanted. Things like a Mercedes G Wagon, a sick flat in London, more shmoney, THINGS.
There were other, less materialistic things on my meticulously photoshopped moodboardT like "getting better at Yoga" and, to be honest, that's the only thing that's materialised. My Yoga has improved a lot in a really short space of time, thanks to dedication and my two amazing teachers, Laura & Holly!
I think I've shared this before but when the other things didn't materialise, I became disheartened and switched off.
I've maintained yoga, gotten rid of a lot of things and tried to declutter but I still bought a lot stuff.
After a very emotional June (I'm so glad to see the other side of Gemini season), I took a moment and decided not to become overwhelmed by what can only be described as dumb sh*t. I would trawl through Instagram, taking screen grabs of my fave accounts, ladies with dope style, dope shoes, dope bags, dope things. I didn't understand why I was unable to obtain those things, even though I work hard? But, I mean, how hard am I working? Does doing a little extra here & there constitute hard work? Yes, pat yourself on the back, congratulate yourself and treat yo'self for damn sure. "Always give credit where credit is due, Jimmy?" (- Chopper).
I've been experimenting...
HOWEVER, since turning a corner at the beginning of July and meditating every day, I've become a lot more calm. It's given me headspace to evaluate where I am in my life, where I want to be and I'm slowly figuring out the path I'm going to take, without the distraction of said things.
Yes, I love clothes and shoes and bags and designer fashion but wish list, for now, you are not my priority. You'll remain dans la poubelle until further notice and, if I'm able to cop some red Gucci loafers or some Celine sunnies or a cute bag along the way? Well, that'd be cool too, I guess.
With that said, I took a day away from my to-do list to spend time with my dude and see some art. We hit the Tate, ate some lunch and took a stroll around The City on a quiet Sunday evening, sans millions of tourists.
"Monument" by Susan Hiller